The beginning

The life and times of a theatre nerd.

Growing up singing showtunes did not prove to be easy. When you're little you would never think that your interests and hobbies will be judged, mocked and made fun of. Walking into my classroom with the annotated lyrics of Hairspray the Musical never provided me with the group of friends that say a hockey jersey would bring. For some reason it wasn't as accepted.

It also wasn't a hit among my friends who loved theatre as well. In all the circles of shows and camps I was still always the odd one out. The one that knew too much about the show, the one who could rattle off the entirety of the score yet forget a simple math equation. What are you supposed to do in life when you're the weird one even in your own clique. The options: you either stay the oddball, or you travel across the country to the land where theatre runs the world and wait till you find your counterpart. That counterpart just so happened to be the theatre district in New York City.

Travelling to New York when I was a little kid gave me the confidence to believe that what I was in love with; the passion that had chosen me in life, was valid. All of a sudden I was surrounded by people who were rushing to and from to get to shows, lines upon lines of people waiting to score a ticket. Clothing dedicated to preserving the title of the show you most loved on your chest. All of a sudden it was acceptable to be enamoured with this business called show. It wasn't so strange, and the thing I loved most was the most coveted in all the land.

Then I had to leave.

The cruelty of giving someone the one thing they desire most and then taking it away. Why would you do that to a little kid? And just like that I was back to being my own land of misfit toys. Bringing Andrew Lloyd Weber's Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat to religion class. Or Spring Awakening the annotated lyrics to dedicated reading time in English class. Rocking out to showtunes in my basement, sobbing to theatre legends singing the songs that put them on the map. Dreaming and hoping and sometimes even praying that I'd go back. That I'd get to be in that magical land where everything I believed in and loved was ok.

Till then I had movie musicals and my cast recordings. They helped me escape. I would put them on sit in front of my cd player, pull out the lyric book and sing along. For hours, until I knew every lyric. I'd become obsessed with each recording. I knew every actor, I knew every reprise, heck I'd even sing along to the overture. Movie musicals were harder for me to enjoy. I always had a problem with someone's performance or casting. But live recordings of musicals, now that's where the magic happened. I wore out my copy of Joseph and Cats. So much so that when I got new copies they upgraded from vhs to dvd. My copy of Into the Woods with the original cast is still a prized possession. I would put those on, sit in front of the tv and watch. I would never rewind, I'd never talk; ok sometimes I'd sing along, and I never had a snack(no food in the theatre). With the lights turned off, I would be transported to being in the theatre.

I finally started going back to New York. My mom, Grammy and I would hop into our car, drive 8 hours, all the while listening to showtunes and Elvis Presley. The first show that I ever fell in love with was Beauty and the Beast. I saw that when I was 4 in Toronto. The first Broadway National Tour with Kerry Butler. The second show I fell in love with completely was Spring Awakening. 11 years passed between those two shows, and yes I had fell in and out of love with many shows. Learned every word and every note. But something about those two shows just hit me. Spring Awakening showed me a new type of theatre. It changed everything I knew. And it gave me the first love of my life.

Sitting in the Eugene O'Neil Theatre listening to the opening of Mama Who Bore Me. Drowning in the beauty. Then all of a sudden a voice came through the theatre. A boy:

All that's known In history, in science Overthrown At school, at home, by blind men

You doubt them And soon they bark and hound you Till everything you say is just Another bad about you

I went on a journey with these characters. These kids who were going through life. Coming along the challenges of being a teenager, trying to fit in. All the while being leaded by this voice, a voice I had never heard before, a sound so beautiful and pure I didn't know how to handle. I fell in love with what I saw on stage, and I don't think that will ever change.

Theatre is a weird beast. You go and watch these people perform live in front of you, singing, dancing, acting, performing. They choose this. They want it. They need it. I need it. I want it. I chose it. You learn so much in a short amount of time. You fall head over heels for people you don't know. With characters who show you their whole selves. What I love about theatre is that you don't know these people. Yet we believe them, we let them teach us, we learn from them. They share with us even if they are having a terrible day. They let us in, give them a piece of us, even when they don't want to. They bring you on a journey. And they do it live 8 times a week.

I've always believed in the magic of the theatre. I feel it when I'm watching, I feel it when I'm performing. It overcomes you in a way that words cannot explain. Yet for some reason it is still joked about and mocked. Maybe that does theatre some good. Maybe that's a key part to the magic. Not everyone gets it. Maybe that's what makes it special. For me, I realized it was special after I saw that first show at 4 years old. I continue to see that it's special every time I leave a theatre. Whether it be tap dancing rats, homosexuals or women with children, sexually repressed German teenagers, high flying superheroes, or rollerblading mermaids, I feel it. I get it. I think that's why I never cared when the kids laughed at me for talking about Bernadette Peters or Patti LuPone, or listening to the cast recording of Rent on school trips. I understood what was so beautiful about theatre. And I think everybody has the ability to, if you just try. You let down your inhibitions, your doubts, your shame and just enjoy.

So go see a Broadway show, it'll do you some good.