"I'm an actress, or an actor or whatever!"

" I do what I don't really do, so I can do what I do do."

The first time I heard these lyrics from In Transit the musical I stopped. I had never really heard a song that conveyed the way I felt before. Conveyed what I needed to do in order to continue to do what I love.

"Reminding me I do what I don't really do, so I can do what I do do."

It hit me. That was exactly the phrase. I work at a pharmacy, or a gym, or a cosmetics store so I can do what I really want to do. But how do you juggle it all? How do you make enough to survive, have independence, a social life, a family life, a romantic life. And still do what you want to do. There's auditions you have to attend, classes, head-shots, clothes, makeup you have to pay for. Social circles you have to stay a part of in order to keep yourself relevant. It's a full time job in itself, just without the full time pay!

But you get a little glimmer. A small little taste of what you crave and wow. Everything you're doing makes sense. Every little bit of effort, sweat and time you've put in makes a difference. It makes you remember why you do this. Why you put yourself through something that really has such a small success rate. Most jobs, you go through university or college. You study and you pass and presto, you are in that field. Fighting for a job is hard, and takes a lot of time, but you get there. With acting you can train, have talent, have the look, have the charisma. But that doesn't matter. You don't know the right people, have the right eye colour, the right height, the right smile and you are out. We put ourselves through this for what? Well, for that little bit of reward at the end of the tunnel.

I was in the bus stop a few weeks ago by myself. I sneezed and heard this remarkable echo that was so perfect, it sounded like I was in the most beautiful church. So I decided to sing. And I was brought back to why I wanted to do this crazy job. Not saying that I have the most amazing voice out there, but I am definitely a fan, and would buy that album. Everyone has to be their own support system right?

I guess what I'm trying to say, is that no matter how many times I hear the word no. No matter how many times I come back from not getting a job upset and crying. No matter how many times I'm told I'm "Pretty but not too pretty" I will get back up and fight my way to succeed. I will admit, I don't have the best drive. I don't have the best self promotional skills. But I have the love, the heart, and the want. I have wanted this since I was 4 years old watching Beauty and The Beast in Toronto. I have wanted this since I won the Kiwanis music festival with "Wouldn't It Be Loverly" from My Fair Lady. And I've wanted this since a favourite performer of mine said we'd be on stage together some day. It's in my blood, and it's who I am. So come at me casting agents who say I need to lose 10 pounds. Come at me directors who don't like the gap in my teeth. And come at me people who say I'm too old all of a sudden. I am Nicole Cino and I am here to kick some butt.

"I see people who give up and leave the bix every year. And yeah, I'm thirty-three, but baby I'ms till here! Though I'm not there yet, I can't forget. That I bet on myself coming through. I'm not gonna do what I don't really do. I gotta do what I do!"